Things they should know, Part I : Living in the Mormon Hood

I wanted to keep a list of all my strange spiritual experiences, as well as the commonplace, for my kids.  I will detail them further in future posts. Should they ever become lost, devoid, dispirited in the world, which can happen easily, they can maybe take some small measure of comfort from my blog.   Everyone should question, everyone feels lost at times, it's all in the range of normal. 

My kids are growing up in a heavily fundamentalist religious area, similar to the place I grew up.  I'm really trying not to relate any of my past experiences to them so that my past does not contaminate their future.  Just because I had some struggles being an Atheist in a heavily religious area, does not immediately mean they will have the same problem. 

The biggest thing I've experienced so far here in Utah is that I have a strong feeling or need to protect them from religion until I feel that they are old enough or they demonstrate they they are old enough to evaluate it for themselves.  I feel like I don't want to teach or have them taught things that we don't know for sure and that it's better to raise them to question and experience first as a template for their lives rather than to follow and believe primarily. If they find that there is a place for belief and a time, I just want it to be on their terms, not predetermined for them. 

To me, this is one of the biggest gifts we can give them, freedom from doctrine.  That is the only reason I have felt threatened and protective of them, and even that causes me to question my own motives further and as my husband loves to point out to me, even that notion of mine is influencing them.  There's no getting around it I suppose.  If we don't teach them anything at all, then what will fill the void?  I feel bad every time it comes up with Dan's Mormon family. I wish that I just didn't care, but I feel mother hen-ish about it.  I'm glad that my family gave me the gift of deciding for myself.   I am no longer Atheist but rather Agnostic, I have determined that much for myself.

The Mormons have really been great to live among and if you had to live within any religious community, this would be in the top 10.  I have had a very positive experience here and am constantly amazed at those around me.  They aren't very "hell fire and damnation" or at least not openly, as some people in Bama can be at times.   The communities and families as a whole and in some respects are models of what life should be, not all, but in general.  The communities are friendly, people appear welcoming and concerned for others.  Or maybe it's just because I'm so much more positive on people than I used to be.  It does make me wonder, is it because they are a superior religious community or because I look upon them with less negativity than those in my past, maybe a mix of both, who knows?

As my kids approach school age, I hope that they are able to find their own ways with little conflict and I guess only time will be able to tell how their stories will really unfold.   In the mean time, you can never go wrong teaching them love and compassion and you never need religion to be a good person.  Today my oldest and I talked about the "Golden Rule" and I was pleased that she grasped it perfectly.  She even gave examples and made up hypothetical situations using her friends to let me know that she got it.  A rule so simple that it's crystal clear to even a child.

A thought blowing in the wind

Don't be afraid to humble yourself enough to every person you meet so as to be a servant.   Even the people you feel you are better than, and especially those you feel do not deserve it.  You have the most to gain by doing this, it is a reflection of you, not them.  Find out what it is that every person really needs most from you and give it to them.  Hint, it is never really money or things.  Love is always free and so is a kind smile.